06/22/19, 12.24a // certain points of pride, somewhat

 

i’ve always tended to feel more comfortable around women. maybe that’s why i tend to have so many transfeminine mutuals who/m i care a lot for. on the website i currently inhabit for micro-blogging, most of my mutuals are transfeminine persons &/or entities &/or kinfolk. concerning the site, there’s a strong transfem presence there & that’s really wonderful. that’s something that deserves to be a common positive thing life makes room for just like it’s made room for the most privileged of groups.

for myself as a transmasculine/trans-neutral(?) person i hypothesize that many of the changes i’ve been experiencing due to hrt (hormone replacement therapy, began 2014) are some of the very things that transfeminine ppl seek to avoid which potentially causes them pain. i don’t want that!!! however i find i long for the ability to safely confer with other transmasculine/trans-neutral persons who are on testosterone (or aren’t, or don’t want to be) i spent the beginning years of my hrt hiding away as i underwent what was kind of like a transformation, really. though it was far from fun & i’m so glad the first several years are over. i did want to risk making someone else sad by seeing i was on hormones & they weren’t. i wanted to avoid causing the pain i experienced from that, however irrational. but i ended up really isolating myself & i stopped venting for a solid 3yrs //-:

i don’t like linking my blog posts on social networks bc i want to avoid feeling like i’m forcing others to look at my thoughts. i’d rather post quietly here & leave these notes here where those who look might find them.

so these posts are my compromise for that problem

ultimately i just wanted to express that i love my beard & copious amounts of body hair & i hope maybe someday someone will think me/my beard is cute/good, etc. & let me know 😳

reply