10/24/18, 04.15p // breakup, working memory

i feel like ive been in the dark about his thoughts on a lot of things for a long time & i feel starved for real answers. that’s one reason ive been asking if he can please write down for me what changes might have happened & maybe just the basic concept of something i did wrong in the relationship? having all of this in writing is very important bc i can’t keep trying to remember everything that’s said when i always forget it & its incredibly frustrating. so i require writing &/or text(s) of these things from now on

i really really regret not asking this since the beginning. i probably would have better things to remember. im not demanding this from him but just know that’s my strong preference. i want “”evidence”” bc information immediately slips out of my head & it’s like i have proof of nothing & can only remember vague feelings & it just makes things worse. it’s a real life accommodation i would benefit greatly from if i did it w more ppl & i didn’t know i needed to be defending myself like this unto last year, so

he recommends not bringing up past mistakes & i hate this bc i overall understand how that would be a bad idea but i can’t quite visualize why. i know the right answer to the question but w/out having the meat of said question, if that makes sense

i think he’s right i just don’t know why

but i have to go feed the dogs ~