09/18/18, 02.05a // vent

i seemed to have accidentally posted abt my bdsmtest.org results at the same time as a mutual who earlier was kind of railing at what i’d previously mentioned abt polyamory (& i didn’t fully understand their argument but i’d like to) & they basically did a subtoot inspired by me but about them, though i wasn’t sure at first if i was the cause though i’m now sure after an additional confirmation.. lol

ohgod they remind me of a twitter mutual i used to have but ended up blocking after they softblocked me. i never learned their name & they never had it anywhere or said it so i referred to them as “gelato mutual” (which i should explain later) they were a very mean, critical, bitter person who i was a bit afraid of & would censor myself in order to not draw their attention & they were /always/ watching

i gave them so many breaks but they ended up being the one to break the mutual bc i’d (maybe impulsively) subtweeted them almost right after i saw a tweet of theirs that was like the camel that broke the straw’s back (:blobderpy:)

context: i had rt’d a big tweet that was including EVERYONE on the lgbtqia spectrum /including/ asexual ppl & this mutual *abhorred*(sp?) asexual ppl loudly & often

they considered me in some way as an ace who couldn’t stand other aces & i know this bc i saw them say it & it was marginally kind to me so i took & edited a screenshot of it for my archives bc & yes this is sad, but, even though it was marginally kind i typically get little to nothing from anyone & especially back then (i felt like i was drowning but no-one cared & those who cared needed to understandably take care of themselves)

but in any case they quote-tweeted the inclusive tweet & said “how many variations of asexual do i need to mute?” & i subtweeted “how many exclusionists am i going to have to mute?” & they sb’d me & additionally subtweeted me saying “why follow someone you disagree with?” which i admit is a good point & i’ve been thinking about it ever since, but yeah. this fediverse mutual reminds me of gelato mutual & that’s not necessarily a good thing