05/16/18, 12.52a // 📓💔

(12.52a,) my brother makes it very difficult to…. um. do a lot. like right now, it’s almost 1am, we usually are out in the shed together & talk the whole time & though i love doing that, i still don’t know how to successfully say No, esp. bc M makes me feel so guilty every time
– (12.55a) & though i love talking w him, we do it too much imo bc i’m out here mainly to be by myself & work on stuff for myself. &…. i feel bad about it but i need my alone time from EVERYONE not just bf //-:
— (12.59a) & though i love talking w him, we do it too much imo bc i’m out here mainly to be by myself & work on stuff for myself. &…. i feel bad about it but i need my alone time from EVERYONE not just bf //-:

(01.01a,) & though i love talking w him, we do it too much imo bc i’m out here mainly to be by myself & work on stuff for myself. &…. i feel bad about it but i need my alone time from EVERYONE not just bf //-:

(01.06a,) i want to fcuking blacklist my goddamn deadname i hate that hideous fragile name so much i wish i could burn it but if i were to physically do that i’d have to first bother making a physical manifest of my deadname TO burn, so, nope @,____@)/

(01.40a,) i am very glad i made myself take a bath
– (01.51a) i’m gonna have CLEAN HAIR !

(01.51a,) i should let myself use emoji more

(01.52a,) “just because [i’m] accurate doesn’t mean [i’m] interesting”

(02.02a,) (・о・)

(08.21a,) 10k pounds of weed

(08.23a,) fcuk its the ne/t ne/utra/lity vote today
– (05.24p) OMG it’s good news for once!!!! NN won’t be repealed (today) 😄🌈💚✨

(09.01a,) last day of regular classes 💔
4B66810D-A018-4580-B3EE-54F1C0C35490
E1B2890C-C207-4FED-A074-A3B26CBA30DA

(09.09a,) FRISSON
[was listening to “Quarter Past Midnight” by Bastille ♥️]

(09.11a,) 5min until the doors unlock \ ;___;)/
– (“,) ;___;)/

(09.17a,) damn this cartridge i have rn. it tastes like spicy pasta //-:

(04.21p,) so comfy
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(04.23p,) great there are ppl coming tmrw at 8/8.30a who need to have access to Under The House (which is located in my closet, lucky me) so i’m going to have to get up like.. at 7/7.30a to clear everything out from 8a – 1p lol ;___;)/

(04.24p,) i hope i don’t have to feed the dogs for the 3rd day in a row but i probably will have to (i like doing it, i’m just tired & would rather not)

(05.20p,) breakfast: handful of froot loops 🚫
– ate but failed
lunch: [got a cheeseburger but it was inedible bc of onions/pickles mix up] 🚫
– did not eat
dinner: to be determined ✨
– (09.32p) dinner: ✅✅

(05.21p,) i hate hunger shakes (physical body shaking)

(05.37p,) 05/16/18, 04.55p // my “sharing problem” has a (first) name, yet i know not what it is, theborderlinepatient.blog/2018/05/16/051…(😅)

(09.31p,) i wonder if i could, as someone w/learning disabilities but dx’d in my 20’s, offer help to ppl in some way, like.. maybe even by just writing about it (to start?)

(09.41p,) school: “the assistive technology is available but we don’t want to have to pay for it bc disabled students don’t mean shit to us”

(09.45p,) it’s fcuking ridiculous that teachers can be the ppl who establish this learned helplessness attitude in the first place. i guess maybe in a lot of cases it’s not intentional, but there’s not a whole lot that ppl do (who have the power to) to stop it from happening

(09.48p,) i would like to review my LD paperwork & use these study strategies to break down all the information so i can finally understand what my particular deficiencies are

(09.52p,) i learned that dyslexia isn’t just about writing (for some reason i thought that)

(10.34p,) i think my stim music criteria could be said like: the songs that work the best when it flows through fairly seamlessly & sound clear…. i’m not explaining this well
– (10.38p) right now the song i’m listening to rn is a very good example (“IV. Sweatpants” – Childish Gambino)

(10.42p,) OH MY FCUK FU/CK MY goddamn affinity for stimming with music…. it’s not something that always that discerning aside from the “flow” of the song
– (10.44p) “sweatpants” by terror jr played right after & uh. i added it to ‘my music’ ok?? i didn’t choose this, IT 🧠 DID

(10.45p,) now i can get back to the re4 movie 0__^)/

(10.46p,) ahhhhh knife arms!!!!
– (10.47p) oops

(10.54p,) ok NOW i actually finished it

(10.58p,)
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(11.31p,) going to be up @ 7.30a

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