07/05/10, 09.13p // ‘until my wounds are healed,’

Today was a pretty long day. I went with my parents out to Sxxxxxxx to visit my father’s step-mother in the rehabilitation part of the nursing home she’s currently in. It was an alright visit; it showed me what a life-long smoker looks like in her…80’s? I’m not sure on her age but I have a feeling that she looks a lot older than she is.

My cigarette burn is looking a bit different these days… The only word I can think of to describe it is ‘crispy.’ And it’s sensitive still.

I’m really afraid that I’ve gained weight since on the fourth someone brought over donuts and I ate a few; I tried to get rid of one but it was really difficult. I’m too afraid to weigh myself; I don’t really want to know right now but I know that I’ll eventually force myself to do it and then I’ll see.

I need to go take care of a few things but I’ll come back and finish this entry.

I guess I was supposed to hang out with someone today but as soon as I got home I went straight to bed and slept for over four hours. It seems like I’m getting increasingly tired as each day goes by even though I take my morning meds that are supposed to help keep me awake.

“Depression is the

inability to construct
a future.”

photobucket wants $$ for: “322314.jpg”

“The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.
Kurt Vonnegut

mood: calm,
currently playing: “Restless Heart Syndrome” – Green Day